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Showing posts from April, 2023

Popular culture

Popular culture seems to idolize a certain way of living. As I listened to “Pop That Pussy” by 2 Live Crew, I couldn’t help but notice the themes: open sex, partying hard, doing drugs, and living without limits. The message is clear—freedom means indulgence. In another one of their songs, “Banned in the USA,” the group pushes back against censorship, arguing that their lyrics are misunderstood and not meant to promote violence or disrespect toward women. They claim to be simply expressing pleasure and freedom in a new era, pushing against the morals of those who don’t understand—likely white, conservative America. Hearing those lyrics made me reflect on the current state of popular culture, especially from my perspective as a middle-class white guy in my early twenties. Today, in much of rap, movies, and TikTok, there’s this ever-present sense that to be “free” is to act on every desire. If you want to fuck, you fuck. If you want to do drugs, you do them. If you want to party and lose ...
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Nothing wrong with me.

 Something pretty amazing happened to me last night. I was smoking and having the usual semi-anxious thoughts that come up when alone. I actually prefer smoking alone for this reason, I feel like I get to understand myself better.  Earlier that day I had been reading Carl Jung's "The Red Book" which I found in the school library. I found that I understood the sections I read fairly well. What stood out to me is when he began talking to his soul. I can't remember exactly what he said but the idea that there are two entities inside of us and one really got me thinking. When I was high I started asking myself why it was that I hated this other entity of mine.  It came down to comparing myself with other people and not really seeing myself in anyone. I thought that I might be an introvert and looked up a video describing the differences between them and extroverts. Mind you, in the past, I had seen a lot of these videos but always rejected the notion that I was in fact an...
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I just wanna do.

Most my life I've contemplated my actions. Actions, conversations, and pursuits were done in a calculated manor. I needed the security of knowing that whatever happened, I would be okay. In all honesty I'm surprised at how well this worked out up on to this point. Now, I've reached a breaking point, I was naive to think that I would ever find true fulfillment from life playing it safe. Right now I just want to do. What I mean by that is I want to Do and not think, Do and not control, Do and not worry. My actions will be my actions and I will have to own their consequences. What I've noticed is that in times when I felt like something was off, it was because I didn't do, instead, I listened to my thoughts and lost out on living. 
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