It's going to be okay

Some nights, like tonight I spiral down a sea of thoughts that just don't quite go away. Thoughts of my character, the character of others, decisions, direction, little interactions and everything in between stick with me. There are overarching themes of trust, self-worth, and friendship which I already think about daily.  I think about ways I could have stood up for myself better and become my own bully for not doing it. When I took a step back and told myself it's going to be alright I started to feel better. It gave some perspective and slowed my spiral down. I think of the ways I've improved my life for the better like making the decision to quit a job because it didn't fulfill my needs. Or the decision to change diets, cook more, learn more, reach out more, exercise more, stand up for myself more, and prioritize sleep and health.  These things have made me feel really good the last few months. Just writing those down calms me down and gives my mind some food for th...
Post a Comment

June 13

 I remember standing there hurting. I had just called another agent by the wrong name and she had ignored my question after. 

The day had gone well and I hadn't "messed up" until then. When I did though I felt immense pain, as if I was bad for making a mistake. 

Feels pretty shitty that something like that can ruin a great day but I noticed it. 


I also noticed that I have a hard time leaving a group of people. I want some sort of conclusion, like for example with the girl I like at work. 


I'm wearing my beige shirt and am writing this in the dorms courtyard.


I was wearing my yeezy's, grey shorts, and ll bean polo today when I had my pain moment.

Comments

Post a Comment