cognitive distortions

I've started to notice negative self talk I have with myself when I'm alone. I tend to leave interactions happy but after spending time alone quickly turn my memory of them into a negative mush. I told my therapist about this and he said it's something called cognitive distortions which can occur when someone has been traumatized.  I notice them after work or even in planning future events. For example, I'd like to host a party with some co-workers and friends. The first thought that comes to mind about said party is that no one will have a good time and I will be judged for it. I really just want to do it to get over this fear and self-doubt. 

June 13

 I remember standing there hurting. I had just called another agent by the wrong name and she had ignored my question after. 

The day had gone well and I hadn't "messed up" until then. When I did though I felt immense pain, as if I was bad for making a mistake. 

Feels pretty shitty that something like that can ruin a great day but I noticed it. 


I also noticed that I have a hard time leaving a group of people. I want some sort of conclusion, like for example with the girl I like at work. 


I'm wearing my beige shirt and am writing this in the dorms courtyard.


I was wearing my yeezy's, grey shorts, and ll bean polo today when I had my pain moment.

Comments