It's going to be okay

Some nights, like tonight I spiral down a sea of thoughts that just don't quite go away. Thoughts of my character, the character of others, decisions, direction, little interactions and everything in between stick with me. There are overarching themes of trust, self-worth, and friendship which I already think about daily.  I think about ways I could have stood up for myself better and become my own bully for not doing it. When I took a step back and told myself it's going to be alright I started to feel better. It gave some perspective and slowed my spiral down. I think of the ways I've improved my life for the better like making the decision to quit a job because it didn't fulfill my needs. Or the decision to change diets, cook more, learn more, reach out more, exercise more, stand up for myself more, and prioritize sleep and health.  These things have made me feel really good the last few months. Just writing those down calms me down and gives my mind some food for th...
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June 29

 I'm gonna keep this one short cause I'm tired and it's late. Today was nice, I walked around and was able to talk to a bunch of people who are very important to me. Continuing to maintain and grow those connections is a must for me and is something I've been lacking in my life. 

My last call of the day was with one of my buddies back home. We talked about our psychedelic experiences and how it has changed our view of life. He was telling me that he had a zoomed-out perspective on everyday life and he said "everyone just wakes up and repeats the same day over and over again"  which I thought was interesting. I've definitely had parts of my life be like that and it sucks. Now, I'm more aware of what living is supposed to feel like and I try not to take for granted the people around me and the experiences there are to experience.


Still conflicted about the idea of finding a job and fitting into "society" vs living and seeing what happens. I'll write more about this when I'm not half asleep.

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