Popular culture

Popular culture seems to idolize a certain way of living. As I listened to “Pop That Pussy” by 2 Live Crew, I couldn’t help but notice the themes: open sex, partying hard, doing drugs, and living without limits. The message is clear—freedom means indulgence. In another one of their songs, “Banned in the USA,” the group pushes back against censorship, arguing that their lyrics are misunderstood and not meant to promote violence or disrespect toward women. They claim to be simply expressing pleasure and freedom in a new era, pushing against the morals of those who don’t understand—likely white, conservative America. Hearing those lyrics made me reflect on the current state of popular culture, especially from my perspective as a middle-class white guy in my early twenties. Today, in much of rap, movies, and TikTok, there’s this ever-present sense that to be “free” is to act on every desire. If you want to fuck, you fuck. If you want to do drugs, you do them. If you want to party and lose ...

July 14

 I want to try and articulate the general place I'm at. 

A few issues that consistently pop up in my head are these:

- Feeling alone

- Not trusting others

- Judging others

- Not feeling like I'm connecting to others.  

- Feeling like I don't get what I want nor know what that is.


In general, these are thoughts that pop into my head. Usually, the feeling that comes along with these is heavy and I would describe it as despair or hopeless. As if these things aren't ever going to get better. 

I don't know if they are but what I've started to implement is just believing in the future. Anything could happen regardless of the perceived goodness or badness of an action. That has helped me quite a bit. 

Another issue I struggle with is figuring out my boundaries, I still don't really know how to go about this. I can't think of what my boundaries are but will often feel when I'm doing something I don't want to do. It's just a matter of circumstance. 

The problem I also face is feeling like I dislike the people I'm with. I never feel like I'm connecting with them and thus never have a good time. It fucking blows and I don't know what to do. 


But there are also good things going on. I started to get up earlier and get a fitness routine going. This has helped tremendously as well as the continued meditation practice. I just feel like I'm at a weird standstill and I don't want to follow any more advice from anyone but also don't want to continue living the way I have been. 


I think the main problem is really struggling to connect with at least one person. I feel like they have to be the one and they can't have any flaws but that's just not realistic. 





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