Popular culture

Popular culture seems to idolize a certain way of living. As I listened to “Pop That Pussy” by 2 Live Crew, I couldn’t help but notice the themes: open sex, partying hard, doing drugs, and living without limits. The message is clear—freedom means indulgence. In another one of their songs, “Banned in the USA,” the group pushes back against censorship, arguing that their lyrics are misunderstood and not meant to promote violence or disrespect toward women. They claim to be simply expressing pleasure and freedom in a new era, pushing against the morals of those who don’t understand—likely white, conservative America. Hearing those lyrics made me reflect on the current state of popular culture, especially from my perspective as a middle-class white guy in my early twenties. Today, in much of rap, movies, and TikTok, there’s this ever-present sense that to be “free” is to act on every desire. If you want to fuck, you fuck. If you want to do drugs, you do them. If you want to party and lose ...

Oct 10

 I'm getting back into a groove after being pretty depressed all weekend. I started going to the gym again and cooking my own food instead of living off of Taco Bell.

A thought that has been on my mind recently is this disconnect I have from what I really want. An example I can think of is with women, where I get the urge to say something but it doesn't come out. Then, because I didn't say something and I see this person again it feels incredibly awkward and I don't bring it up. 

I wish I was just honest about it and said like "Hey look I know what happened the other day was weird and I just wanted to know how you are feeling". Instead, I just talk about some random shit that has nothing to do with either of us. 

That's just an example but this applies to my parents too, or my siblings. Sometimes I want to get really mad at my parents, but then I don't. And then it festers till I explode. I also want to tell my siblings how much I care about them but that seems impossible.


There is a clear disconnect between my feelings and my actions. I'm getting better at identifying when it is that I feel a certain way but my mind is extremely quick to make up excuses why I shouldn't feel that way or why I shouldn't express myself. 

It's only after the fact that I can step back from the situation and see that I could have handled it a lot better but I was just scared. 

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