It's going to be okay

Some nights, like tonight I spiral down a sea of thoughts that just don't quite go away. Thoughts of my character, the character of others, decisions, direction, little interactions and everything in between stick with me. There are overarching themes of trust, self-worth, and friendship which I already think about daily.  I think about ways I could have stood up for myself better and become my own bully for not doing it. When I took a step back and told myself it's going to be alright I started to feel better. It gave some perspective and slowed my spiral down. I think of the ways I've improved my life for the better like making the decision to quit a job because it didn't fulfill my needs. Or the decision to change diets, cook more, learn more, reach out more, exercise more, stand up for myself more, and prioritize sleep and health.  These things have made me feel really good the last few months. Just writing those down calms me down and gives my mind some food for th...
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Oct 18

 I've kept myself pretty busy which has helped me from the crushing "reality" of my subconscious. 


The above is a thought I just had. Does it hold any validity? Maybe... I have kept busy to support myself financially and to get an education which is another form of "reality" I have to face. I no longer feel like I have time to go out on weekends and drink, but that kind of applies to making friends in general. Is this immature? or realistic? Honestly, my nights out and time spent with people have actually been much more rewarding than it has been in the past. 


Still, a little free time to rest the mind should be a daily necessity. Going to try and meditate when I can.

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