Popular culture

Popular culture seems to idolize a certain way of living. As I listened to “Pop That Pussy” by 2 Live Crew, I couldn’t help but notice the themes: open sex, partying hard, doing drugs, and living without limits. The message is clear—freedom means indulgence. In another one of their songs, “Banned in the USA,” the group pushes back against censorship, arguing that their lyrics are misunderstood and not meant to promote violence or disrespect toward women. They claim to be simply expressing pleasure and freedom in a new era, pushing against the morals of those who don’t understand—likely white, conservative America. Hearing those lyrics made me reflect on the current state of popular culture, especially from my perspective as a middle-class white guy in my early twenties. Today, in much of rap, movies, and TikTok, there’s this ever-present sense that to be “free” is to act on every desire. If you want to fuck, you fuck. If you want to do drugs, you do them. If you want to party and lose ...

Dec 15

 Who am I? I so desperately want to answer this question and it feels like if I focus hard enough on it I'll break through and understand. Maybe that's true but for now, I'm still stuck on the question. There are a few things I'm starting to understand about myself. The first is that my mood is very reactive to my environment. I'll give you an example. My day could be going great but then I get an email about my internet bill. For whatever reason my provider decided to raise my bill by $5. This immediately makes me angry, I think an injustice has been done to me because I didn't read the fine print. I'm not only mad at the company but now I'm mad at the whole system. How can something so innately unfair be allowed? Maybe under a different system, this wouldn't be an issue. Maybe money in and of itself is the issue, it creates winners and losers and exploiters and the exploited. 

All these thoughts come up because of a $5 increase in my monthly expenses. Now I'm sitting in my room thinking about how unfair the system is and how in a year, when I graduate, I'll be part of that very system. I'll be a part of something I hate which makes me hate myself. 


Another example would be if a peer criticizes me or in any way makes me feel like I did something wrong. This brings up past memories of times when I wasn't a good friend or could have been a better person. I can't seem to cope with the fact that I make mistakes. 

These are two interesting things I've found out about myself recently. I think the source of the money issue is past familial struggles with finances and a lack of fundamental understanding of our systems. On the issue that brings up shame, I believe past traumas stopped me from showing any sort of resistance to bullying, criticism, or any other kind of boundary-pushing. I would just ride with the punches cause at least those people were in my life and didn't leave me. My true nature might be buried deep below the mountains of perceived characteristics I take on that I believe people will like me for.


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