cognitive distortions

I've started to notice negative self talk I have with myself when I'm alone. I tend to leave interactions happy but after spending time alone quickly turn my memory of them into a negative mush. I told my therapist about this and he said it's something called cognitive distortions which can occur when someone has been traumatized.  I notice them after work or even in planning future events. For example, I'd like to host a party with some co-workers and friends. The first thought that comes to mind about said party is that no one will have a good time and I will be judged for it. I really just want to do it to get over this fear and self-doubt. 
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Dec 17

I think there's something special in taking responsibility. You are putting a decision into the universe and following up and accepting whatever results from it. I've felt my weakest when I make a decision and regret it. For example, if I go out and get drinks with my friends, instead of taking responsibility for the possible consequences such as not studying that day or spending too much money. I instead feel bad about it during the present moment which is just a double whammy of consequences on top of a bad experience. If instead I can convince myself that the decision I made will have consequences but I still chose to take it on in spite of it I would feel a lot better.

This applies to other types of decisions as well. For example, if I tell someone I want to make plans with them. Following up with them about it should be a priority, that is if I actually care for the person. For me, it's also a good way of recognizing if other people are worth my time and commitment. If someone doesn't do something they say they would then how could I trust them at all in a relationship. 

For the ladder comment, I'm going to start implementing a three-strike approach. The first time I'll brush it off as a mistake, the second I'll address the issue, and the third time I will move on from that person. 

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