It's going to be okay

Some nights, like tonight I spiral down a sea of thoughts that just don't quite go away. Thoughts of my character, the character of others, decisions, direction, little interactions and everything in between stick with me. There are overarching themes of trust, self-worth, and friendship which I already think about daily.  I think about ways I could have stood up for myself better and become my own bully for not doing it. When I took a step back and told myself it's going to be alright I started to feel better. It gave some perspective and slowed my spiral down. I think of the ways I've improved my life for the better like making the decision to quit a job because it didn't fulfill my needs. Or the decision to change diets, cook more, learn more, reach out more, exercise more, stand up for myself more, and prioritize sleep and health.  These things have made me feel really good the last few months. Just writing those down calms me down and gives my mind some food for th...
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Dec 17

I think there's something special in taking responsibility. You are putting a decision into the universe and following up and accepting whatever results from it. I've felt my weakest when I make a decision and regret it. For example, if I go out and get drinks with my friends, instead of taking responsibility for the possible consequences such as not studying that day or spending too much money. I instead feel bad about it during the present moment which is just a double whammy of consequences on top of a bad experience. If instead I can convince myself that the decision I made will have consequences but I still chose to take it on in spite of it I would feel a lot better.

This applies to other types of decisions as well. For example, if I tell someone I want to make plans with them. Following up with them about it should be a priority, that is if I actually care for the person. For me, it's also a good way of recognizing if other people are worth my time and commitment. If someone doesn't do something they say they would then how could I trust them at all in a relationship. 

For the ladder comment, I'm going to start implementing a three-strike approach. The first time I'll brush it off as a mistake, the second I'll address the issue, and the third time I will move on from that person. 

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