worldviews

 I went on a afternoon walk as a do most days. I have a beautiful scenic view just a few blocks from my house which I enjoy very much. On this particular walk, a man stopped me while I had my earbuds in. I took them thinking he was asking for directions but instead he started talking about the Bible. Now, I grew up in a atheist/agnostic household. My mother is Jewish and father Christian though neither practiced it at all. I didn't know I was suppose to have a bat mitzvah or what that even was till a few days before I turned 13.  Fast forward to today and I'm curious, so I indulge and let the man speak. What he says to me really opened my eyes to a frightening world view. From my understanding "we", "us", "our souls", sinned in a past life. This has caused god to punish us and move us and our children to this prison we call earth. We are rightfully imprisoned and suffering is guaranteed for all. If however, we stay true to the word of Jesus, follow...

March 13

 I told myself I was going to write this in the morning but that was 15 minutes ago and I've since changed my mind. It's 12:16AM and I have the urge to write. The last few months have been a pretty strange period. I can't really tell if I've matured at all or if it's the weed. I go in and out of thinking phases more often, like I'll think that meditation is the answer but then I'll also go into pleasure seeking behaviors like drugs, alcohol, sex, love and gaming. Both never really get me to what I want so I switch when I don't think one way of thinking is working. For example, in my meditation phase, I'll be very calm and present but at the same time extremely nice and forgiving. In this phase I feel like I'm most susceptible to get taken advantage of. I think the right balance is to be in that state but also be aware enough to stand up for yourself when you think something is going wrong. Then when I'm in my pleasure seeking phase my actions are more destructive and of short term benefit. 

As I'm writing this I also notice how black and white my thinking could be. I tend to label things as good or bad, all of which is very dependent on the mood i'm feeling in the moment.


Ok thats all I'm writing, I'm tired. Here is a picture of a building.



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