It's going to be okay

Some nights, like tonight I spiral down a sea of thoughts that just don't quite go away. Thoughts of my character, the character of others, decisions, direction, little interactions and everything in between stick with me. There are overarching themes of trust, self-worth, and friendship which I already think about daily.  I think about ways I could have stood up for myself better and become my own bully for not doing it. When I took a step back and told myself it's going to be alright I started to feel better. It gave some perspective and slowed my spiral down. I think of the ways I've improved my life for the better like making the decision to quit a job because it didn't fulfill my needs. Or the decision to change diets, cook more, learn more, reach out more, exercise more, stand up for myself more, and prioritize sleep and health.  These things have made me feel really good the last few months. Just writing those down calms me down and gives my mind some food for th...
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March 17

My mind battles between two separate ideologies. One of survival, where fitting in means everything and doing what others do like apply to internships and corporate jobs. The other part of me believes more in the present moment and enjoying what you have and not trying to force change. Both have their moments and me me feel good and bad sometimes. I think the real problem with this is that it keeps me stuck and unless I actively try something and go against my battling mind, I will actually get to experience life. 

So just as a reminder to myself. I'm going to go against the thoughts that will lead me astray and instead choose something to pursue. This means sacrificing other things you like doing or at least scheduling your day around this certain activity. This doesn't mean it's the thing you have to do for the rest of your life but it's something you really want to try.


Ok thats enough. Here is a picture of a building.



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