cognitive distortions

I've started to notice negative self talk I have with myself when I'm alone. I tend to leave interactions happy but after spending time alone quickly turn my memory of them into a negative mush. I told my therapist about this and he said it's something called cognitive distortions which can occur when someone has been traumatized.  I notice them after work or even in planning future events. For example, I'd like to host a party with some co-workers and friends. The first thought that comes to mind about said party is that no one will have a good time and I will be judged for it. I really just want to do it to get over this fear and self-doubt. 
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April 11

 Patterns:

A pattern I noticed today is my lack of self belief when it comes to choosing the people I want in my life. As soon as someone has something bad to say about someone I immediately begin judging my own idea of that person. This is a constant issue that arises and it disconnects me from creating a bond with said individual because I now lack the necessary trust in that person to make it happen. Maybe it's helped me avoid bad relationships but I also think it's stopped me from forming any meaningful ones. 

In the future if I feel something of that nature arise I'll talk to the person about it. For example I'll tell them "hey, so and so said this about you and I want to know your thoughts about it". This will most likely lead to a very awkward situation but I get the most out of those sorts of interactions, regardless of the reaction.


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