cognitive distortions

I've started to notice negative self talk I have with myself when I'm alone. I tend to leave interactions happy but after spending time alone quickly turn my memory of them into a negative mush. I told my therapist about this and he said it's something called cognitive distortions which can occur when someone has been traumatized.  I notice them after work or even in planning future events. For example, I'd like to host a party with some co-workers and friends. The first thought that comes to mind about said party is that no one will have a good time and I will be judged for it. I really just want to do it to get over this fear and self-doubt. 
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April 6

It's late as fuck right now and I can't sleep. My shift was long and I ended up eating and smoking before bed which never works out well in terms of my sleep quality. I'm anxious to fall asleep so I can get my day started tomorrow but I'm struggling to shut off. Not too upset or in my head which is different than most nights. I noticed myself slipping into an anxious though pattern and was able to highlight it as such and take my attention away from it. 

I feel like I'm finally starting to understand how to live a better life and truly it starts with being bold and keeping your feet planted and spine aligned and head high with that decision. The more you do this the more you understand what you truly want. 


Here's a building.



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