cognitive distortions

I've started to notice negative self talk I have with myself when I'm alone. I tend to leave interactions happy but after spending time alone quickly turn my memory of them into a negative mush. I told my therapist about this and he said it's something called cognitive distortions which can occur when someone has been traumatized.  I notice them after work or even in planning future events. For example, I'd like to host a party with some co-workers and friends. The first thought that comes to mind about said party is that no one will have a good time and I will be judged for it. I really just want to do it to get over this fear and self-doubt. 
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The Up and Down Cycle

I've noticed a pattern in my behavior recently. I'll start by doing something productive or positive in my life. This in turn tends to lead me to an opportunity. This period I call my up cycle. I'm positive, motivated, and have an opportunity like an interview or date waiting for me. Then comes the day of reckoning and I have to interview, or go on my date. This is typically the beginning of the eventual down cycle. The interview or date doesn't go well and I get rejected. All the work I've put in has been for nothing and the positivity I had in the prior weeks was a facade. I get demotivated and start picking up bad habits I know aren't good for me.

It's the rejection that derails me and I need to find a way to keep moving on through the pain. I think a lot of times too, I'm the one that should be doing the rejecting. The jobs i've interviewed for and women i've got on dates with have all had some red flags that I notice but don't question. I'm too focused on needing money or needing love than actually deciding if it's a good fit. 

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